If you’re looking to meet a member of the opposite sex and you’re not happy with the progress you’ve had so far, then this post is going to help you start changing your fortunes. This is a scientifically based strategy that anyone can use to pick up a partner successfully.
The Setting
First, you need to choose the right hunting grounds. You’re going to find a bar then or a club ad you’re going to head there with a group of friends. The group of friends are important. They should ideally be the same sex but a little variation is fine.
The Target
The next thing you’re going to do, is to look around the room for people you would like to get to know. When you see someone you’re interested in, you will simply flash them a big smile.
This has two big effects. Firstly, it is incredibly confident and something we don’t see people do often. A smile is more confident than a wink or a nob because it makes us a little bit vulnerable compared with trying to ‘play it cool’. It also makes us seem warm and approachable.
If they smile back, then you can consider this a cue to head over. They might even come to you! But if they don’t, then just try again. No face is lost.
The Approach
You are then to approach the person you smiled at and start to talk to them normally. This means you should ask about their day, if they’re having a good time, if they come here often etc. You should also introduce yourself.
The Switch
After talking for a bit, the trick is to ask to meet their friends, or to just start talking to them naturally. Better yet, just introduce yourself to the group.
This move makes you seem incredibly confident and outgoing, which makes you instantly more desirable (this works for men and women). You can then go on to call over your own group of friends. Now you’re all mingling which makes it less apparent that you’re aim is just to pull this one person.
In doing this, you’ve made yourself seem more genuine while also obscuring your motives which makes you more interesting and more enigmatic – rather than needy or even ‘creepy’. You’re also demonstrating that your groups get along and thus suggesting compatibility. Moreover, you are making them a little jealous that you might be more interested in one of their friends – which will bring out a competitive nature.
The Close
To close the deal though, you will place your hand on the small of their back, take them to one side and ask if they’d like to come with you for a drink. This clearly reaffirms your intention and gives them an opportunity to progress the relationship (by accepting your offer) or to politely defuse the situation by saying no thanks.
If they’re game for the drink, ask them to come to the bar with you and then move to the dance floor to close with a kiss.
Citizen Coaching and Counselling provides one to one, couples and family counselling in Birmingham from our counselling centres in Birmingham City Centre and Jewellery Quarter. We have a number of counsellors that specialise in this work who can help you through difficult times. We have appointments available seven days a week – including evenings and at weekend daytimes.
