Stop Complaining and Take Back Control


If you find yourself constantly complaining do you believe that you have a real need to complain and maybe your life isn’t where you would like it to be.

If you don’t complain yourself, do you know someone who does? Does it make those around them uncomfortable?

You might even try to avoid them as much as possible.


What can be done to correct this negative view of the world and get back to a more even or more positive world view and way of living?


Complaining can become a bad habit.  A habit, whether good or bad, is an urge to adopt that action no matter what the consequences.  The more you feed the habit the more it will take control of your life and the harder it is to kick.


Complaining typically stems from negative thoughts you’ve created.  You realise you’re the cause of your thoughts so you blame yourself and vent it with complaining. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that can lead to constant complaining and misery.

Don’t allow hose negative thoughts to overwhelm and become you.  We become what we think in the same way as we eventually become what we eat, drink or do.


If we put good into our body and mind then good will come out.  Conversely, if we constantly think negatively and allow negative thoughts then bad will come out.  It’s inevitable and it can be corrected.


A good place to start is to consider that you have negative thoughts and that you are their creator.  Realise too that these thoughts lead only to more negativity and more addiction.  You know what you’re doing but can’t help yourself until you admit to your problem and let it go. Try and see the alternative side of each situation.


This can be a classic glass half full (optimistic view) versus glass half empty (pessimistic) view of the world.


Negative, glass half empty thinking could be: the world is a negative place, people are out to get you, you better watch out.

Positive, glass half full thinking: the world is a positive optimistic place, people are mainly good and we should embrace every opportunity.


Relax and let your negative thoughts disappear.  It may take a while but it can be done and when negative thinking is stopped so will your complaining.  You didn’t become what you are overnight and you can’t expect to become what you desire overnight either.  If that were the case we would all be perfect in mind and body.  It’s a fight that can be won with constant dedication and awareness.


Don’t doubt yourself.  Believe in yourself.  We choose what we think and we choose what we are and can become.  Accept responsibility for your actions and let it go.  Then take positive steps to accept what needs to be done to achieve your goal.  Dedicate yourself to getting it done.


This will disrupt your mind’s pattern of thinking and it will be easy to fall back into the old ways.  Surround yourself with positive things and these will seep into your mind until they become you and your new habit is formed.  Whatever was bad in your environment that caused you to complain get rid of it.  Each step toward a positive emotion gives you confidence to continue.


If you don’t like the life your living or the thoughts you’re thinking then change the pattern of thinking.  Take responsibility and take control.  Stop complaining today and discover a new you tomorrow.


Want some help in dealing with this or making an action plan or even bouncing some ideas off an impartial person? at Citizen Counselling and Coaching a number of our counsellors and coaches can provide support around this issue, in person and via telephone and zoom secure video chat. This could include identifying the obstacles to overcoming the issue, creating practical plans and through sharing techniques and models that have worked for others.


Our ‘Turn Hopeless Resolutions into Personal Evolution’ online programme and Coaching were designed for time poor busy people looking to make a positive change in their lives.

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