Online Dating Done Right

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A woman using a tablet in bed

The internet is undoubtedly changing the way we manage our relationships. Whether this is for the better or worse is certainly a topic that is open for debate.
But suffice to say that online dating is one of the areas in which this transformation is by far the most apparent. Online dating changes the way we think about meeting people and the way we approach them. It gives us the ability to vet thousands of people before making a choice and it creates a context that is purely and explicitly about finding love (or sex).
If you want to be successful, then you need to know how to navigate this minefield. Here are some tips.
Picking a Photo
When you pick profile picture, there are two rules to observe. Rule one is to pick something that does look like you. It can be you on a good day but not you on a good day twenty years ago.
The other rule is to make sure that you run this by your friends and family. Why? Because they are significantly better at knowing when you look your best than you are. You are pretty biased and rather close to the subject and that means your choices cannot be trusted. A friend or a relative will have a better ability to look at you through objective eyes as though they were an outside observer. And the result will be a much better photo getting chosen.
Oh, and check out stats and facts too. Certain things have been proven to get a positive result – such as wearing red!
Ask Them Out Quickly
This is an important tip that can save you a lot of headache and heartache. If you’re on a dating site, you’re on there for one thing: dating!
So, don’t feel shy about asking the person you’re chatting to out. Don’t make the assumption that it is too soon, or not the done thing. The reality is that it shows balls. And if you don’t ask the person out, then what will happen is that you’ll go back and forth for weeks or months to the point where you’re almost already dating.
But you won’t know if you’re really going to hit it off until you meet. And what this then means is that you might have ended up investing all that time and energy into a relationship that ultimately went nowhere. This is highly deflating and upsetting. And over the course of a few dates, it can be exhausting.
Be Varied and Don’t Show Off
Most dating profiles let you add a few different photos – which is great!
But don’t see this as an opportunity to show off. Especially don’t see this as an opportunity to show off just how well travelled and exotic you are.
If every photo you upload is one of you backpacking up a mountain or across a dessert, then you come across as trying too hard. Not only that, but it appears very likely that you will be a bore!
So instead, share photos of you doing normal things too!
Citizen Coaching and Counselling provides one to one, couples and family counselling in Birmingham from our counselling centres in Birmingham City Centre and Jewellery Quarter. We have a number of counsellors that specialise in this work who can help you through difficult times. We have appointments available seven days a week – including evenings and at weekend daytimes.