Love on the rocks? When did you last say ‘I love you’? Simple acts of kindness can reunite and reignite and quite frankly we don’t all do this enough. It’s too easy to take a partner for granted.
As time goes by, many couples people complain that their feelings diminish, and that it’s just not
the same anymore. This is a very simplistic view of the way we mature in a relationship. Sure, things are not the same anymore, nor should they be. However, if feelings are diminished, it probably has a lot more to do with the way we treat each other than just time passing by.
Telling someone that you love him or her is important but not nearly as important as showing it. It is critical that you remind the special people in your life just how much they mean to you, even if just by saying or doing little things
Whenever you do something for someone else without him or her having to ask for it, you will be driving home the fact that you care enough to put their needs first. To be perfectly blunt, offering anything without it being required will add to a positive relationship. ‘Go the extra mile’. Doing so on a regular basis will make the other person feel special, and that’s probably what love is really all about.
Ironically, it is often the little things, not the big things,that matter most. It is not usually about how big a gift you buy, or how big a party you throw, or how much money you have to throw around; it’s about the idea that you thought about the other person and his or her needs, wants, and desires. To get to know someone and really understand what makes them tick gives us the ideal opportunity to provide those special reassurances and valuable words that only two people ‘that’ close can provide.
And, when I say it’s about the tiny things, it’s about the really tiny things. Things like saying ‘I love you’ or ‘I’ve really missed you’, making breakfast or the morning coffee, giving a lift to work, helping them complete a project, doing your fair share (or more) around the house, opening a car door, lending a hand to help in a moment requiring three hands, or offering to clear the table after dinner, or even running a bath. None of those things take an investment from the savings account, but they do take an investment in thought and time.
Additionally, some little things can make a huge difference, like a simple unexpected message letting your spouse know they are on your mind. Sharing the last piece of chocolate cake or sending a card when you are away says “I thought of you.” That’s worth ‘a million dollars’.
Telling a your spouse that you love them and believe in them, especially during times of extreme stress, can make a huge difference. Think about it – if your spouse is doubting their position in the work world, feels they’ve made a terrible mistake with the children, or experiencing another painful, self-esteem damaging event, would that person want to open a trinket or hear your words of love and support? The little things go a long way!
Relationships break down in lots of ways, often through a ‘drip,drip’ over time. At Citizen Coaching our one to one and couples coaching and counselling can make a difference to getting things back on track. For more information call Martin or Judy on 0121 314 7075