A lot of people carry around with them a lot of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds.
When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they should do but don’t, the person who they had a row with but both are not speaking to each other – but both want to, the coulds and shoulds in your life that hold you back – you need to let go, but you don’t.
These people carry around with them a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without and focussing on something more productive instead!
Can you get like this?
What are you tolerating, what are you putting up with?
If there are things, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.
Take a look at your life and get rid of this baggage by asking yourself a series of questions and by completing the following exercise.
In effect, what we are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.
Another term for this is “psychological completion” or just “completion”
The following set of questions can be taken at one sitting or over a number of hours/days.
By writing the answers down they become more formal.
Get to it and watch your confidence soar!
- Putting up with! Toleration list
- Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
- Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
- Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other area of your life
- Make an action plan to get rid of/communicate these things that you have been putting up with
- Unfinished matters!
- Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life
- Make an action plan of how to reduce this number!
- Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
- Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today
- Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybe, oughts as you can. Write these down.
- Your standards!
- Write down the standards that you have been saying to yourself that you should have; let go of these and write down a list of the standards that you are going to have in your life from this day forward.
- List 5 people who you admire the most. Identify their greatest qualities, behaviour and how they lead their life. What standards so they have? What standards could you raise starting today to be more like them?
- Respect that other’s standards will be different from your own. Think of 5 close colleagues or friends – what are their standards and how are they different to yours?
By completing these exercises, you will be able to focus more on the here the now and the future.
You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention units – those things that knock your self esteem.
At Citizen Counselling and Coaching a number of our counsellors and coaches can provide support around building confidence and bettering self-esteem. This can include identifying the obstacles to being more confident, creating practical plans and advice through sharing techniques and models that have worked for others.
Our ‘My Confidence Coach’ online programme and Coaching was designed for time poor busy people looking to increase their confidence and make a positive change in their lives.
Our Increasing Confidence page can explain more