If you have ever gone through the grieving process, you would think that when you do it again, you will handle it better the next time around. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. You will feel just as bad each subsequent time. It’s a necessary process in life, however. Where experiencing it previously can come in handy, is helping others who are going through the grieving process.
If you are faced with trying to help someone who is grieving, make sure that you are not trying to force your experience on them. People grieve in different ways. What worked for you will not work for everyone. Try to hone in on how the person you are trying to help is dealing with the situation and go from there.
The most important aspect of helping is to be there for the person. This is especially true after the dust settles and there is no one left but the grieving person. Shortly after death, there are ceremonies and gatherings. These are good for the people grieving and helps to get their mind off of the situation. But, eventually the crowds die down, and a feeling of loneliness can overtake those who are grieving. By sticking around for a bit longer, you can take away those lonely feelings, at least temporarily.
Sometimes staying silent and just listening can be the best advice when helping others to grieve. They are trying to come to grips with what is going on and the last thing they want to hear is, “it’ll get better,” or something along those lines. Just let them do most of the talking.
Be ready to help when they ask for it. Offer to run errands for them if that is what is needed. People who are grieving don’t think much about eating, so make sure that they get food and watch them eat. At first, they don’t believe they are hungry, but once they start eating, they find they are much hungrier than they realized.
Try to keep alcohol use down to a minimum, if at all. It’s easy for people who are grieving to use their situation as an excuse to go overboard with alcohol. This can turn into a long term problem if it is not kept in check. When the crowds are there for the ceremonies and gatherings, there will likely be alcohol served. It’s okay for the people grieving to have some as long as it is moderate.
Citizen Counselling and Coaching have a number of our counsellors and coaches in Birmingham who can provide support for grief, loss and bereavement. This can include patient one to one support, creating practical coping strategies and through sharing techniques and models that have worked for others. We also have specialist counsellors who work with children aged 4 upwards.
Our ‘My Grief & Loss Coach’ online programme and Coaching was designed for time poor busy people looking to manage their grief and loss or for those who don’t feel they can talk with a counsellor or coach one to one at this stage.
Our Grief and Loss page can explain more
You will find our online programme ‘My Grief & Loss Coach here